the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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