I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
