It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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