she is the kim kardashian of front butts
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
