I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
