batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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