i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
