pedialite and red bull = repair kit
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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