Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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