I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
