If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
