it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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