could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
