There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
