We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
