If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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