i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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