the day after is always just damage control
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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