Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
