You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
