He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Don't EVER smell your tampon
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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