best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
