there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
