It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
