Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
