just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
