Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
