a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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