Who wears a wallet chain?!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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