I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
