Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
