okay pat passed out under dana's car
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
