I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize