respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
