I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
