His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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