Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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