I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
