They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Let's get the cat blown out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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