he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
