white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
