my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
