somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
