Screwed.edu
Buhtt sex?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
