Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
