it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
