hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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