Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
