My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
id be glad to
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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