He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This house was built for laser tag.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
