So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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