real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
should my penis look like a turkey
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
