im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
