Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
