Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
