so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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